『漫游』酷论坛>『海外生活』>[转贴]Don't Want Kids
[转贴]Don't Want Kids
seiyafan@2005-01-22 05:04
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Things I've learned from my Boys (honest and not kidding):
1.) A king size waterbed holds enough water to fill a 2000 sq.
ft. house 4 inches deep.
2.) If you spray hair spray on dust bunnies and run over them
with roller blades, they can ignite.
3.) A 3-year old Boy's voice is louder than 200 adults in a
crowded restaurant.
4.) If you hook a dog leash over a ceiling fan, the motor is
not strong enough to rotate a 42 pound Boy wearing Batman underwear and a
Superman cape. It is strong enough, however, if tied to a paint can,
to spread paint on all four walls of a 20x20 ft. room.
5.) You should not throw baseballs up when the ceiling fan is
on. When using a ceiling fan as a bat, you have to throw the ball up
a few times before you get a hit. A ceiling fan can hit a baseball a
long way.
6.) The glass in windows (even double-pane) doesn't stop a
baseball hit by a ceiling fan.
7.) When you hear the toilet flush and the words "uh oh", it's
already too late
8.) Brake fluid mixed with Clorox makes smoke, and lots of it.
9.) A six-year old Boy can start a fire with a flint rock even
though a 36-year old man says they can only do it in the movies.
10.) Certain Legos will pass through the digestive tract of a
4-year old Boy.
11.) Play dough and microwave should not be used in the same
sentence.
12.) Super glue is forever.
13.) No matter how much J ell-O you put in a swimming pool you
still can't walk on water.
14.) Pool filters do not like Jell-O.
15.) VCR's do not eject "PB & J" sandwiches even though TV
commercials show they do.
16.) Garbage bags do not make good parachutes.
17.) Marbles in gas tanks make lots of noise when driving.
18.) You probably DO NOT want to know what that odor is.
19.) Always look in the oven before you turn it on; plastic
toys do not like ovens.
20.) The fire department in Austin, TX has a 5-minute response
time.
21.) The spin cycle on the washing machine does not make
earthworms dizzy.
22.) It will, however, make cats dizzy.
23.) Cats throw up twice their body weight when dizzy.
24.) 80% of Men who read this will try mixing the Clorox and
brake fluid. Women will pass this on to almost all of their friends,
with or without kid
a) For those with no children - this is totally hysterical!
b) For those who already have children past this age, this is
hilarious.
c) For those who have children this age, this is not funny.
d) For those who have children nearing this age, this is a warning.
e) For those who have not yet had children, this is birth control.
Lizard@2005-01-24 06:27
hahahah!!!
r u among the 80% then?
vivitar@2005-01-24 07:17
it's hard to carry babies now....
Blanche@2005-01-24 08:02
today i saw the baby which had just been born on tv....it's red...so disgusting~~>"<
JanusWang@2005-01-24 08:03
hehe, kids are so cute. And all of my schoolmates are very happy when looking at the babies growing up day after day
Ammy@2005-01-24 10:02
I learned something amazing today..Clorox and braking fluid...i wonder if the smoke is poisonous...anyway, little babies are cute but hard to take care in my opinion
jsan@2005-01-26 00:56
so funny!
Re: [转贴]Don't Want Kids
jingwen@2005-01-27 04:32
引用
最初由 seiyafan 发布
The following came from an anonymous Mother in Austin, Texas...
Austin…………very likely, I'm going there for college.
jingwen@2005-01-27 04:33
。。。。。。[ 此帖被jingwen在2013-12-18 15:00重新编辑 ]
seiyafan@2005-01-27 06:36
到时候还是要靠运气。
sunny_rain@2005-02-01 04:25
Ahh, this is super hilerious~ I'm def. in the a department, no kid yet~
But really, all the Mom says is based on her "boy", so this also means that a girl might better XD
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