An English thread, hope everybody enjoy it

At least you have the urge to scream out, Whatever. That IS a fortunate thing.
Unlike you, I would keep to myself different pressure and stresss to myself. After all, it is my own doing that usually cause these stress. I would always try hard in everything, and beat my brain to death over some contraversal ideas. In the end, I became a pessimist who hasn't any hope left. I came into a realization that I cannot predict the future, yet I always do. I cannot change the past, but I'll always condamn myself for the past. I believe that I wouldn't care what others view me, yet I am just another fool who hopes to be heard. I claim that I would live by my own standard, yet I live to the expectation of others. I want to find the meaning of life and the reality, yet I would turn myself down for I belief such acts are impossible... So, what am I thinking? What am I hoping for? Why am I living? For as far as I know, I am the only one who can answer these questions--yet I cannot, for I do not truely know myself.

Oh, one more thing. I had already cancel my AOL account, so they block my emial, and my old screen name for AIM. So "DNAngle II" is my new one for AIM, and my new email is x3Dgame@earthlink.net

And emb422, I lost your screen name and emial since I can't get on my AOL account anymore, could you give that to me again.

Friday Feb.20, 2004

Gees, what another exhausted day. I was sooooooooo tired when I got home. But I am so warried about Emily's solo since she had been sick for a week and we only got together once. Worse thing was she still not sure whether she should do it or not. So I called her at 8:00 pm when she got back from the IB Epcot trip, and she told me that she had been worried for the whole day too, and she thought she was not going to make it. Well, although I was a little bit thrill out, I mean we were so close, so close, if we could practice like 1 or 2 more hours, we are ready to take the shot, I really don't underday why does her parent doesn't let her come to my house and practice, we are like 5 minutes away from each other's house. Oh well. so I just took care a homework or whatever.
At almost 10:00pm, she called me again, and now she said she want to try. Oh my goodness, ok, it will be my pleasure. So we tried to practice over the phone. It's really funny, because it's really hard to do that, I turned the volume of the phone to its max, and I still can't hear her. So, I asked my dad to hold another phone next to my ear, but it's hard to do that too, but anyway we did it, and I think she is really to take the shot, even she can't the get surprior, an excellent is possible.
Well, after she's ready, I was not, I didn't memory the songs for the madrigal, there're like 4 songs, and one is in french. Man, I had to my friend's house at 7:00 am in the morning, which mean I have to wake up at 6:00. Gees.

March 4, 2004

Time flies like speed of light. Just a blinking time, it's March. And it's only the forth day of March, I had already said happy birthday to 10 people, two on March 1, 2 on March 2, 1 on March 3, and 4 on today, and two more coming tomorrow. Geez, what does so much people that I know of have a birthday in the beginning of March. But anyhow, I only gave one person birthday present(actually some of them, I just didn't know their birthday, otherwise there'll more money fly out of my pocket), I bought her a book, which has great story but a super stupid cover. So, last night, I spend half an hour to make a new cover for this great book. Then this morning, I was doing my pre-cal. homework while others were studying for the chemistry test or waiting for Bernedatte come in(the one has birthday). Ok, the central person came in, and everybody just either said happy birthday to her or gave her birthday present(one of them was great, someome cut a big hole in a thick book, and put some M&M inside, it's really funny). I stop doing my homework and gave her the present, and I told her don't look at the orginal cover, then I turn around and do my homework again. Holly a big crow, maybe she was too happy to receive that M&M book, she forgot what I said 2 seconds later, and I don't know for what reason make she look at the orginal cover(gosh!!!!!!!!!), oh well I hope she will still like it. Oh I almost forgot, my friend Jeremy gave her a birthday hat with an apple on top(because she wore an apple on her head on the spanish oral day), that's a great idea too.
Whew, finally we had an NHS induction meeting, and the new member were finally geting what they want for a long time. Well, the meeting just went well(actually not, some people were playing cards in the back, and some are doing their homework, but only few people listen and doing the stuffs were enough). I signed up for the speech in the induction (man, I can't bieleve I am going to have a serious speech in front whole lot of people again, last time as I remember was 3 years ago in China, but I am not so used to speech well in front of people anymore, that's something I lost and try to find it back). Well, something hilarious happen during the meeting, Mrs. Lucus, our responer urged everybody to sing happy birthday to Burnedatte (man, she is a really shy girl, her face looked some funny), then Joe(he's funny guy, who always sing like a goofy guy)just took the microphone, and sing as fun as always. This time he sang the happy birthday song in a semi-romanic and semi-playful style, then everybody was just laugh. That was great.

Wow, it's 23:38, I stil have to finish my history, oh well, whatever.

March 6, 2004
What a exhausted and exciting day! IT IS SCIENCE OLYMPIAD STATE COMPETITIION! Everything just like usual except I had to get up at 6:00 in the morning and go to the competition place. Since both my cousin and I were getting the ride from our math teacher, we decided to review the stuffs and make up our sleeping time in her car. My first event was Polymer Detective, and my partner was Burnedatte. Well, although I sort of know what polymer is and I do know what to write their structure, I don't know their properties at all. Neither did Burny know(man!her knowledge of this topic was more poor than I do). So I gave her some informations that I think it's going to be on the competition, and both of us tried to memorize. Maybe because it's early in morning, and maybe because both of us were really tired, we can't remember much. And our conclusion was "we don't care."
When we got there, Burny and I went to the competition room immediately. Not surprising, we were not the only group that didn't know polymer that well. Anyway, we still need to do it. So we began to test those unknown polymers and try to figure what those are. After the density tests and the burning tests, we sort of know what they are due to both of us read the property tables that I download from internet. But the funny thing was, both of us memorized the table up side down, so we got both part I and part II completely wrong. Man, I felt really stupid, because the only thing we need to do for geting full credit for NO.1 was remember two properties tables. And part III was the hard part, but we got them all right, except one question that neither Burny remember it.from Biology nor I remember the answer from Chemistry. Oh well, it's still fun to do it anyhow. I decided it, I am going to do it again next year, and I am 100% sure that I am going to win next year since I began to love this topic, and I know what's going on in the competition(it's my first time join the science olympiad competition).
After an hour off, Alice and I went to the chemistry lab competition place. Well, since she had already had this event last year, and since both of us are good at chemistry, I didn't worry that much. And just like we expect, we did really well. The questions and the lab was 10 times easier than any regulate labs or regulate tests(not IB TYPE of lab or test)that our chemistry teacher gave us. Although the questions ask too much which it may take forever to finish it, we are the first group and the only group in our block(each block have 9 teams) finish the whole thing and clean up before we have to turn it in. If everything just like what we expect, we may could win something for this event hopefully.
Man, I was really hungry after 6 hours after I ate my breadfirst, so I took half hour off, and bought something to eat. Geez, the food was so expensive, I spent $5 only got a little bit food(they told me that if I can wait till 4 o'clock, everything will became very very cheap, because people start leaving at 3:00). Well, my last event was physic lab, which I didn't know too much, since I didn't take physic(well, I took one year in china, but that's three years ago), so I was counting on my partner who claim that she know enough for the competition. So I wasn't that worry about it either. But I was too stupid to trust people. When we got our questions and lab, she said she didn't learn those yet. I was like, "what the heck"(well I didn't said it out though), so I took over the paper and tried to read the question and lab, but I was really uncareful, and I got a big paper cut, which I have to use my pant to dry my bleeding finger. Well, I can't believe that actually I know more than she does, and I figure out how to do the lab and the question. Man! I didn't even take physic here, I should said sometime American people is really undependable, I was really regret that I didn't print out the informations, otherwise I could have got all the questions right. I wrote the procedures, and set up the lab, and finsh it. The only two problem that I didn't get it right was the calculation problem, which I forget the conversion between calorie and J. Although I make up some number for the conversion, but I knew it's wrong. Geez, I which Hailey was there with me(she is taking physic right now, but I am 100% sure that she is the one know enough for the compeition), if she is my partner, we will kick others' butt, we could just sweep through the whole competition and win the first place for the physic lab. Oh well, it's also my fault to not be well prepare. But since I am going to take physic next year, and since I knew what's going on, I will win next year.
After 8 hours, I was really exhausted, but I still have to wait for my cousin, he still had one more event. I finally had time to think what I need to do this weekend, but what I figure that out, I got a really big headache since everything is going to due on Monday, History unit test, reseach paper, WWII project, chorus addition, etc. Life is so stressful, but why living? I still don't konw, although I don't know enough courage to die, I do know if I am not living, then I won' even have a chance to find the meaning of life. Every moment is so similar but also really contrastive. Every happy moment arouse the sad memory of my life, but every sad momend also reflect the happy memory of living. Why I am living, I still don't, but as long as I am alive, I am on the way of seeking, seeking the meaning of my life.

Friday March 12, 2004

Wow, what a exciting day! What so exciting? It's the boy's basketball game final competition, Cocoa Beach vs. ???????(I didn't even bother to know which school that it), if we win the game today, we are the state champion.
In the moring, on my way to school, I could alread saw lot of signs along the stress in Cocoa Beach have "good luck, our state champion" on. I thought I got to school early that day, but seem like I was wrong, there're already a long line in front of the front office for buying a site for the bus to the basketball game.
Oh well, not my bussiness since I had already got a ride from somebody. However, looks like I was wrong again, because the guy who could give me a ride can't drive his van anymore, so I have to ride a bus too. Dawn it! And maybe that's the suckest sing ever in my life, I had to pay $15 for riding a school bus, while others were riding a nice and comfortable bus. I was kind of mad, but the game was the most important thing.
So, eight faithful buses were taking their road to the game place. Although I know that we brought more than half of the school plus lots of parents here, I never realize that they are "THAT MUCH", gee the lines were supper long, we waited about a hour to get in there. The game place was really big and really nice, I think they use it for college game or even NBA. Since my bus got there late, looks like I can't find a good site if I want to sit with my friends. So I decided to sit with many people that i know but not my friends.
Atmosphere was much intenser and much more boiling that you could ever imagine. Even before the game start, all people from different sides had already competiting with sounds and movement. And too bad for them, whole bound of guys from their side took off their shirt and walk over to our side, but a second late, they got kick out by the corps. Then later, another competition between audiences erupted again. I didn't know who brought the beachball, which have state NO.1 on. The beach ball was passing in the air in our site, actually that was fun, I hit the ball twice after the principle gave was the permittion for doing that. However, they send a spy to our side and took the ball, so we send a "troops" there to get it back.
The game started as the pipe was blown, and our school first got the ball and got the score really quick. But unfortunately, they're too happy, so soon we lost 8 to 4. After our coach called for a suspension. Our warriors were back. Maybe it's hard to control, most of the chorus people forgot what our teacher told us, I was standing at the every frond line and cheer(I don't even remember how loud I yell). And somthing funny happened. When the score suppose to be 11 to 8, suddenly, our score became 115. Wow, even god said we are going to win huh. The announcer told us, the score board never have such problem before, and no matter how they tred to get the score down, when it reach 15, it still showed 115 again and again. So they remain the score at 15, and the game continued. After the score incident, we were so winning. Just a while, our team cautch up their score and leading for the rest of the game. And since we brought so much people there, our cheering also won, no matter how loud they yelled, our school still had a louder cheering sound, even the major, and all other high officials of Cocoa Beach were there and cheering like a trumpet. After the 3rd quater, we were pretty sure that we were going to win since we led with 11 points. And during the whole 4 quater, we didn't make any mistake, but the opposite team was totally wet by cold water. Without a doubt, we surely won to game, and became state champian, all the people from our school were chering, jumping, embracing, laughing, even crying. The final score was 57 to 47. It was the first time in Cocoa Beach history that the Boy's Basketball won the state champian, and for more than 41 years, Brevard country finally regain the champianship since 41 years ago achieved by Cocoa High. When our basketball coach lifted the champian cup, the whole right side cheer like the terrifying waves, for more than 5 minutes and the sound never got less. We not only won the game, but also won the beach ball back, Mr. Candle told me that the beach ball will sit next to the chempian cup, although many students want to keep it.
My bus was the first bus got back to town. When we got there, there're alread lot people waiting, so we open all the window, and yell "we are the state champian" along the road, and our bus driver hit the trumpet for declaring our victory. But seem like bus #4 got a better idea, the call couple sheriff cars to ride along, and they came back absolutely like a hero.
The whole day was great and fun, and it will be a unforgotable memory in my life.

Monday, March 15, 2004

Man, just like every single year, the week before spring break was always a no break weak. Just a second after a got to school, all I started to hear was there's a test tomorrow, a lab write up due a blah blah blah day, and homework, and homework, and homework.
I didn't know for what reason, our history teacher speed up the lessons. We went over half of the things that were about the Cold War and most of the things about the Vietnam War. So............."Ok, DBQ on the Vietnam war tomorrow." That's what we got. Be honest, I didn't know that much about the Vietname, though I had already watched lot of Vietnam war movies when I was a kid. I bet no one else know better than me in that class beside Coach. But heh, he was the teacher, and his father went to the Vietnam war, of course he know lot of things about it, even those scare things.
If just history, I think I could still handle it, but we got a chemistry test on environmental chemistry that was comoing up, which include 5 chapters, and 300 pages. Of course, a lazybone like me had absolutely no possibility that I had read those chapters. And tonight was the the National Honor Society Induction Night, which I was assigned to announce one of the characteristic of NHS. Much worse, I didn't get the script yet, although I knew that the script was the same every single year, it's impossible for me to remember it from last year when I was inducted.
Gosh, it's only Monday, how would I ever be able to survive till Spring Break?
Anyhow, I still survived, I went to the library and got the script after school, and then I started to practice. Because of my Chinese accent, my friend Jeremy(he is a great friend) pointed out few words that I didn't pronound correctly, and helped me to correct them. And our responser told us to be there at 6:00pm
Unfortunately, my slow cousin treated the induction too big, and he spent too much time on dressing: iron the shirt, chose the tie, jel his hair, and blah blah blah. And even though he spent half hour, I still looked better than he did, and I only spend 10 minutes on dressing.
Finally, we arrived to the induction place. I went to the side door and practice pronouncing my script with other people, who also assigned to announce something. Even though I practice many time, I still had little bit trouble on the word "compensation". One time, I even pronounce "without monetary compensation" as "without monetary compassion". However, after that, I didn't pronounce it wrong again.
The induction soon started, and the president of NHS started to read the same old script for 20 years, and as boring as always (at least to me). But since I was siting in the front road, I had to show a happy face until the induction end. I was the last one to give the speech, and I was going to announce the characteristic of Service. Maybe due to I like to show off, and I practiced announce the script a lot, I did a great job on the speech with a clear sound, correct pronounciation, and a nice frequency(lol). Beside giving a speech, passing the certification and congratulating to the new members were the nice parts of the induction(at least to me). Although most of them were in 10 grade, but I knew most of them since lot of them were my cousin's friends, and some of them I had already known them in chorus.
After the principle, system priciple, and our responser gave the speech, the induction was finally ended. So, everybody was starting to take pictures and chat. But since my friends in my grade and me had a DBQ tomorrow, we just had a short chat, and went home.
Of course, when I got home, I began to struggle with the Vietnam War, and did some research online since I felt the imformations from the book were not enough. Just like always, I can't go to bed until 12:00am or 1:00am.

Friday, March 19, 2004

After the whole struggling week, we finally got a FREE day. And it also the first FREE day for the whole year. Well, actually I did still have the French test in 1st period, but after I did good on the oral yesterday, the writing test was just piece of cake. And just like always, we watch movie after the test, so it count as half of free class. Then, rest of the day was FREE. We did nothing but talking or watching movie in almost every single class. Even in Chemistry. Tell you what, we got a lab. What lab was tha? ICE CREAM LAB. Haha, we were making ice cream, that's the most fun lab of all we did for the whole year. Although we did it once last year, my old group did it pretty bad, it melted after a while, and I just added some chocolate in it and drank it as chocolate milk. This year, I got a funier, and better partner, he and me done a great job in this lab. And last year, my group was the last group that finish the lab. This year, haha, we were the second one, who got the ice cream. We were eating it, while others were still dealing with the freezing ice bag.
Oh, I almost forgot, today was also Hat Day. As you know that school dress code doesn't allow students to wear hat. So, what happen that day. I didn't know who came up the idea of Hat Day, but it was great. The Relate For Life group was raising money for the American Cancer Society, and if the students bought a dollors ticket from them, they could wear hat on Friday. How great was that! I knew the people love to wear hat, and lot of them bought a ticket. Man, I have to stand in front of Publix to raise money, and my teammate just came up with such good idea. Maybe I have to come up with something soon, otherwise there's no way that I could raise $100.
Well, finally was 7th period, which was the most important event of the week--the basketball game, Senior vs Faculty. This was the 3rd time, and it was the best, and funiest. Since we were the basketball state champion, there're no way for the teachers to win if the team players were playing. So most of them were not playing or only played for 5 minutes. What about our teachers' side? Since we got couple new men teachers, and one of them was basketball player in college before he came to our school, and another one was the bigest and tallest guy of the whole school, the Faculty had hope to win this year.
When they game just started about 5 mintues, the Faculty started losing, we started to thought, gosh, the Senior was too good, there're no way that the Faculty will win. Well, we all changed our mind, when the Big guy and the Cool guy came to play. Althought the Big guy can't run fast, the in the 3 Second Area, he was the king. Later, many famale were on, other players also exchange, and the funny show started. Ms. Moson, our responser of cheerleader team, just like every single year, the times that she fell on the floor was more the the times the shot the ball. And the female teacher also playing the "steal ball game" between other female senior players. And the our masculine joined them soon, they just like playing a goofy game, acting like a fat dumb bear, they not only passed the ball to a wrong person, but also treat the ball as a kid. In addition, we got two great narrators this year, they made the game much more fun, it's great to hear how they describe the stupidity and the flexibility of each member.
The final result was Senior 44 to Faculty 43. Although I knew that every year, they used to make the score pretty close, it always fun to watch the game. Maybe next year, when I am a senior, I will play.